By clicking this article, chances are you’re looking to answer a specific question: what, exactly, is a sugar baby? You may have heard a wide variety of different things about sugar babies, and perhaps you aren’t sure how to filter out the facts from the fiction. Perhaps you’ve heard answers that differ wildly or even contradict each other. This makes sense; many people make assumptions about sugar babies that color their explanations and lead to inaccuracies. Others simply don’t understand what a sugar baby is and what they do. Luckily, a simple and accurate sugar baby definition can clear up a great deal of misunderstandings immediately. Here, we’ll explore what a sugar baby is, how being a sugar baby works, and what sugar babies are not.
How to Define a Sugar Baby
A sugar baby is, by definition, a woman or man who participates in a mutually beneficial relationship wherein the sugar baby gets financially compensated in return for offering companionship to the sugar daddy or mommy.
What Does a Sugar Baby Do?
The point of having a sugar baby, for many of those who do so, is to have someone to treasure and spoil. Most sugar daddies or mommies have more money than they feel they can spend on themselves, and find happiness in being able to provide for someone else who otherwise may not get the chance to enjoy such nice things. In return, the sugar baby offers companionship, friendship, and affection to someone who desires a close and intimate relationship. There’s a variety of ways the financial compensation aspect manifests; it can be gifts, or simple sums of money, such as a regular allowance.
Having a sugar baby may be enticing for men and women that have high standards in what they want in a partner, but don’t have the time needed to date in the traditional way, with the failures and missed connections that entails.
A sugar daddy or mommy may also want something simpler and more specific than traditional dating. In sugaring, everyone involved receives what they want from the relationship, and both parties make their desires and expectations clear early on. Like more traditional relationships, these arrangements will generally start out as casual dating and then progress into something long-term and serious if there’s a connection.
Who Does Sugaring?
Some assume sugar babying is solely for women, and that only men are sugar daddies, but that simply isn’t true. The above sugar baby definition in no way excludes any combination of gender. Male sugar babies absolutely exist, though they are often less discussed, and can be less common. However, more and more male sugar babies are beginning to talk about their experiences, lending their voices to the discussion. At times, people are more comfortable with the idea of women performing the role of a sugar baby than men, so male sugar babies may be even less open about their relationship than female sugar babies, but it’s an equally viable arrangement regardless of gender. A male sugar baby has the same type of relationship with their sugar daddy or mommy as a female sugar baby would. It’s also important to note that not all sugar daddy and baby relationships are heterosexual, either; many arrangements include two men or two women.
Statistically, most sugar daddies and mommies are older, while their sugar babies are generally younger. A survey from 2013 said that the average sugar daddy in New York was 42 years old with an average income of $524,127. There’s a variety of reasons why an older man or woman might seek out a younger partner. A sugar daddy or mommy may have recently left a marriage, and feel that a younger partner is less likely to be looking to get married and settle down. They may enjoy helping someone who is younger and thus less established. They may like the different perspective and insights a younger person can offer. On the other hand, there are just as many reasons a sugar baby may seek out an older sugar daddy or mommy. Some men and women are simply more attracted to and interested in older people, or may not feel as connected to those closer to their own age. Some enjoy the benefit of a partner with more life experience and knowledge about the world. Others may simply want a partner that they feel is more mature, wiser, and more cultured than someone younger may be.
Oftentimes, younger sugar babies are in college, and prefer the arrangement to a traditional relationship because of the expense of their education. They may want to do school without having to starve themselves to pay for it, or feel they will focus better on their education if they don’t need to also work a job. Sugar daddies and mommies are happy to provide help with loans and expenses. They will often also spoil their sugar babies in order to see them happy, treating them to dinners and trips that the sugar baby couldn’t afford on their own.
Otherwise, there’s an incredibly wide variety of people in such arrangements. There is no such thing as the perfect model of a sugar baby or sugar daddy. All sorts of people participate in sugaring, and for all sorts of reasons.
It’s of the utmost importance to remember that, as stated in the sugar baby definition, sugaring is first and foremost a relationship. It isn’t a job or obligation. The sugar babies and sugar daddies/mommies choose to be in this relationship, and it is beneficial for all involved. Being a sugar baby has meaning to many of those who do it, and sugar babies often develop a great depth of feeling for their partner and vice versa.
What Sugar Babies Are Not
There is a great deal of misconceptions and incorrect stigma surrounding the concept of sugar babies. Many people misunderstand them and their relationships. In order to understand sugar babies and sugaring, it’s important to know the ways being a sugar baby differs from being a gold digger, a spoiled girlfriend, or a paid escort.
A Sugar Baby is Not a Gold Digger
A gold digger is someone, usually a woman, who enters into a relationship with a wealthy partner with the intention of swindling him or her out of their money. Gold diggers are dishonest and manipulative, as the other partner is not generally aware of the true goal. Gold diggers pretend to be interested in a traditional romantic relationship, while solely looking for wealthy partners who they believe will provide for them. They care about the money, not the relationship itself, and may end the relationship and leave once they’ve gotten what they wanted.
In contrast, sugar babies are open and communicate from the start. Everyone involved is aware of the arrangement for their relationship. Sugar daddies specifically search out someone with the intention to spoil them with money and gifts. Sugar babies also care about the relationship itself, and about their partner. Those targeted by gold diggers do not go into the relationship with that intention, and do not know the gold digger is looking solely for money.
Sugar Babies Are Not Spoiled Girlfriends
The difference between a sugar baby and a spoiled girlfriend or boyfriend may be harder to spot. After all, both are involved in a relationship where one partner may frequently provide the other with gifts and expensive dates and vacations. However, being a spoiled boyfriend or girlfriend differs in that it is not at all arranged, and is entirely dependent on the whims of one partner. It’s also not a prerequisite for the relationship: you aren’t required to spoil your girlfriend for her to be your girlfriend. As such, the partner doing the spoiling may stop at any time, and the relationship would continue on as normal.
In sugaring, on the other hand, the compensation is an inherent part of the relationship. It’s expected and pre-determined within the boundaries of the arrangement, and is a key part of the connection between a sugar baby and a sugar daddy or mommy. Sugar daddies and mommies seek out someone that they want to spoil on a consistent basis, and it is a staple of the relationship.
Sugar Babies Are Not Escorts or Sex Workers
Many people assume sugar babies are similar to paid escorts or sex workers, because they receive compensation. However, this is simply not true. For sugar babies, sugaring is a lifestyle choice, and not a job. Many sugar babies have jobs entirely unrelated to the sugaring world, in a wide variety of fields. Sugar babies are often students, or pursuing a creative career path, or working in a lower-paid field such as teaching. What a sugar baby wants is a long-term relationship with someone that can help them achieve their desires and advance in their field, rather than something temporary. For a sex worker, escorting or sex work is their job.
Escorts also usually see many clients, and often see a client just one time. Sugar babies, however, are generally in serious, exclusive relationships. They also often grow to like and even love their sugar daddies/mommies. These relationships involve seeing each other regularly, and are consistent and monogamous, unless otherwise negotiated. A sex worker or escort has no reason or obligation to share other parts of their lives with clients, and a client cannot demand exclusivity from them. Sugar babies and their partners may share all different aspects of their lives with each other, as you would with any relationship. They go away together, visit each other’s homes, know details about where the other works and lives.
The biggest difference between sex workers and sugar babies, however, is that sugar babies are providing companionship, emotional intimacy, and a relationship. An escort is just providing sex. A client may go to a sex worker out of loneliness, but the sex is what they are being paid for. For this reason, sugaring is legal everywhere in the world, while sex work and prostitution is not.